March 12, 2010
Steps to Supporting Your First-year Student
By Anne Lambrecht
Director of Counseling, Health and Wellness Center
Since it has only been a few weeks since you moved your child to Alma College and said your goodbyes, I imagine that many parents may be experiencing a range of emotions. The first year of college may be the first time your child will live away from home for any length of time, and many parents feel a bit conflicted. On one hand there is the obvious pride in witnessing this important milestone, but on the other it is also quite normal to feel some sadness. You’ve always been involved in your child’s life, but now you may be wondering how to continue your parental role while still encouraging independence. Rest assured that you still have a very important place in your college students’ lives. However, just as your students will be adjusting to their new roles, you will be going through a period of adjustment as well.
This is a year of transition for everyone. Recognize that your entire family will experience changes. If your student is your only child or last child, you will suddenly find yourself with more time on your hands. Invest in a new hobby, resume an old one, take a class, go on a vacation or volunteer to ease your adjustment to this transition. If you have other children at home, they will likely have reactions to the change as well. It is important to keep lines of communication open with all your children during times of change within your family.
Arming yourselves with information that will help you to understand your students’ transitions and when and how to offer support may help.
Steps parents can take to support their first year student:
Recognize that the first year of college will be a period of significant change for your student. Know that it is normal for students to feel overwhelmed at the beginning of their college careers. Students must balance new academic and social demands. Students must learn to balance the many social choices they have with their academic responsibilities.
Remind them that making friends, although not that difficult, requires time and effort. Students must exhibit a willingness to extend themselves and should be open and welcoming. Tell them not to wait for others to break the ice and to remain open to new cultures, ideas and values. They should be prepared to take the initiative and introduce themselves first. Meaningful, new relationships should not be expected to develop overnight. It took a great deal of time to develop intimacy in high school friendships; the same will be true of intimacy in college friendships.
Encourage campus involvement. Students will meet people more quickly and feel part of the Alma community if they take advantage of what Alma College has to offer. In general students who are active members of student organizations tend to enjoy their college years more than students who are not involved. Residence hall meetings, sports events, and special gatherings are intended to provide opportunities for students to socialize. Study groups with other students in their classes or residence halls are a wonderful way to get to know other people. Look into any of the many clubs and organizations that exist at Alma. Tell them to jot down contact information for people they met with during pre-term and use it!
Encourage your student to access on-campus support as needed. There are caring professionals at Alma Campus ready to assist your student. Residential Life has placed a Resident Assistant (RA) on each floor to help students find their way around campus, answer general questions that may arise, and help residents resolve roommate conflicts. Your student’s advisor is another great resource for academic and other issues. Accessing these services can be a tremendous asset to a freshman student who is experiencing a problem.
Encourage students to stay on campus during the weekends. They may want to come home, but the best way to overcome homesickness is to stay here. Students who stay on campus experience less homesickness and enjoy their experience more. There are many things to do at Alma on weekends, and they are the perfect opportunities for your students to meet people and get to know their new environment.
Expect and encourage a greater level of independence. Although your natural inclination may be to pick up the phone and try to resolve a problem with roommates or professors for your student, it is important that he/she learn to resolve conflicts on their own. Encourage them to resolve the conflict on their own first. You can help by listening and helping them to develop a problem solving strategy in which they take the lead. Offering suggestions about ways to approach the person with whom they are having the conflict is usually most helpful.
There are many resources available to help students (and their parents) during their transition to college and beyond. If your student seems to be struggling unnecessarily please suggest that they talk to the licensed professional staff at the Counseling and Wellness Center (CWC). The CWC staff is skilled in helping students adjust and are an important resource to be used throughout their time at Alma.
